Bryan Smith Flint, Jr.
March 27, 1988 - June 28, 2013
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even
Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake, she has no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even, even, no
What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even, even, oww
What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even)
You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame
Now I'm tryin' make sense of what little remains, oh
'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break
No it don't break, no, it don't break even, no
What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even)
Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, it don't break even, no
Read more: Script - Breakeven Lyrics | MetroLyrics
In memory of Bry,...from his
dad, who misses his son,... more than most people could ever understand
unless they've been through the same experience.
My pain has got to have some meaning and value to others, or it's being
wasted for a really cruel reason. Bryan Smith Flint, Sr.
Bry's first missed birthday, 3/27/1988-3/27/2014 He would have been 26, but now always, 25,....
This world was never meant for one as beautiful as you
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10151488425700807&set=a.10150672365130807.384168.633425806&type=1&theater
Butterfly on Bry's
Butterfly-bush (7/27/2013)
#loveyoubrybry #sixwillneverbeseven #foreveryoung
Posted to
my FaceBook page, 7/27/13 from Dad, Bryan Smith Flint, Sr.
https://www.facebook.com/bryanflintsr/posts/10151593286729751 I had my first dream last night, where as I woke up, I fully remembered being there with my son but at the same time knowing that he wasn’t going to be with us much longer. It was painful to experience in lots of ways. Tomorrow, Sunday is the one month anniversary of his leaving us behind. It was an eerie dream, and very uncomfortable. At his funeral I spoke and I was so distraught, that I made MANY comments I wish I hadn’t. I can’t take them back, but I can try to apologize to those who I truly unintentionally offended. I won’t even mention names, that would make it worse, just PLEASE know that I’m truly sorry. TRULY. Bryan’s death hit me so hard, it would have been wiser for me to not even have spoken,…at all… It’s a shame, that “words of wisdom” are expected at those times, trying to summarize a loved one’s life, at such a difficult time. Tragedy doesn’t follow a suitable schedule I guess. What follows is what my second oldest daughter, Alexis Carmicheal wrote following my fiasco of an attempt to memorialize Bry. I took out a few painful statements to protect my own shortcomings… I'm weak.... very weak. +++ Alexis wrote: I would like to re-summarize what my father was trying to say in a more appropriate way.
Every relationship in our life shapes us, all in different ways. Past relationships, even those that did not end well, still serve a purpose in creating our lives and who we are. One such relationship created four amazing (obviously!) children. Although the relationship itself was not meant to be, it brought Bryan to this world and we are all thankful for that. More relationships gave Bryan even more. Throughout his life he gained brothers and a little sister. He also gained additional parents and role models in the forms of Kim and Steve. It doesn’t end there. There are also many cousins, aunts, uncles and grandparents that became part of Bryan’s family. Every single one of these relationships was important to Bryan in different ways. We all shaped Bryan’s life, as he shaped ours.
My mother had something to say tonight, that she just couldn’t. I’m not sure if I will do her justice, but here it goes. Every one of you here tonight had a relationship either directly or indirectly with Bryan. Like his family, you have each given shape to Bryan, as he has done to you. He has touched all lives here in either small or large moments. Through these relationships with all of you he will live on.
There are four generations represented here tonight and each of you fit into one. Bryan’s grandparents and their generation are present and represent a simpler relationship where babies are born and grandparents rejoice and spend their time thinking how they will spoil them.
Bryan’s parents and their generation are present and represent a love for their children all the while taking care of home, work and other obligations. They have many memories of Bryan growing from an infant to the man he became.
Bryan’s siblings and our generation represent a changed world of technology that Bryan was born for. We grew up together, had fun together, maybe even got in a little trouble together.
The final generation is Bryan’s nieces and nephews…they hold an innocence and love for their uncle that no other can. It is through all of these generations that we continue to remember Bryan and through us he will be given eternal life. We must live on, so that Bryan will live on.
We will NEVER forget his life, but we will also NEVER surrender to his death.
Signed- Alexis Carmicheal +++ Thank you for writing this Alexis, I love you and I’m so proud of you, your Dad.
I love all of you, especially my family and friends, who have mourned with us through this difficult time period. If we haven't acknowledged you personally yet, please be aware that we will in time. It's been difficult. Your outpourings of support that came in waves and still trickle in each day have meant a lot. You have showed us your love in so many meaningful ways. ++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
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from: https://www.facebook.com/liss.flint/posts/10151700092598361
Liss wrote: "You all asked ”Can we do anything...?” Yes you can. As we take our tiny first steps forward we would like to ask for your help in celebrating his life. Instead of lighting a candle in his memory will you please light a sparkler? All who know Bryan will understand how much a sparkler would better represent him. Please take a photo and post, tag the family, share on our pages. Let us all be reminded over these coming days how he touched your lives and remind us all that you are thinking of us. It does help. Share this status and when you post a photo tag it #foreveryoung #sixwillneverbeseven or simply #loveyoubrybry Thank you all again so very much."
Please post your condolences here: thank you for your support and love......
http://smallandpietrasfuneralhome.com/book-of-memories/1623241/Flint-Jr-Bryan/obituary.php
Alex, Jess, Cassi, and Bryan, Jr.
Hi Bry!
Liss made this from flowers around our home for Bry for the funeral last night, on 7/2/13
Bryan Smith Flint, Jr.
1988 - 2013
Please post your condolences here: thank you for your support and love......
http://smallandpietrasfuneralhome.com/book-of-memories/1623241/Flint-Jr-Bryan/obituary.php
Matthew 3:17 - And a voice from heaven said
"This is my Son, whom I love; with him I am well pleased."
Lord, we entrust him to you now... Dad
Bryan Smith Flint, Jr. 25, of Ellington
died early morning, Friday, June 28, 2013 quietly in his sleep.
Bryan was born on March 27, 1988 in Rockville, CT.
Bryan graduated from Ellington High School in 2006.
He had a strong passion for music, art, computer technology and loved his family
dearly.
He will be sincerely missed. His best quality was his compassion.
Bry-Bry, as he was affectionately known by his family when quite a bit younger, leaves behind:
Mother and step-dad ........... Penny Hunter Zuidema and Steven Zuidema and
Father and step-mom .......... Bryan Flint, Sr. and Kimberly Sardilli Flint,
Grandparents ..................... Merlyn Hart, Bee Flint and Buddy and Marilyn Zuidema.
Siblings;
........................................... Melissa Flint and her husband Thomas Tischofer,
........................................... Alexis Flint Carmicheal,
........................................... Mystica Flint Schaub and her husband Charles Schaub,
........................................... Jesse Mack,
............................................ Alexander Mack
............................................ Cassi Flint.
He was a beloved uncle to Aiden, Jenna, Thomas, Nathan, Josephine, Evalee, Bonnie and Charlie.
He also leaves behind many Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and Friends.
Relatives and friends may join the family
on Tuesday, July 2, 2013 from 4-6 PM
at the Burke-Fortin Funeral Home, 76 Prospect Street, Rockville, CT
06066.
A Memorial Service will follow at 6pm. Burial will be private.
Donations in his name can be made to:
The Cornerstone Foundation in Rockville, 15 Prospect Street, P.O. Box 2036,
Rockville, CT 06066.
For online condolences, please visit www.pietrasfuneralhome.com
I think this was in Vermont at a
Mica Mine. I took him for a trip, just him and I for a few days. He missed
his mom so much, but every
time I agreed to turn the car around and head back to see her, he'd say he
wanted to stay, then go back, then stay,....
Update 2015, It probably wasn't
a picture I took where and when I thought it was.
I think his mom, must have taken it when she was really into photography.
Elegy with Discussion of OwnershipBy Jesse Mack, Bryan's brother
Read by the author at Bryan's Memorial Service
The trees are speechless behind you.
It’s as if they miss you already.
Once you had a baby’s bib
tied around your head & who noticed?
No, I am not supernatural.
I can’t trace a wave to its source.
At the mere thought I feel like a mountain
hard-up for sunlight. I feel
like I have just ordered a lavish cake
without any form of payment.
But food stamps stick to you.
The good weather costs nothing.
It refuses to be archived or rented.
It remembers the valley was full of your hair,
& how, at the table, you’d touch
some object & it would claim you.
You wept for a bottle of vinegar.
You wept because your plate shone
& the light did not belong to the plate
& the world could not name you.
But now the street is full of animals.
Like you, they get thirsty.
They die of their thirst.
But not you.
Your trees are still here.
You died with a glass of lemonade
in your hand.
A typo or a summary?
The shortest verse in the Bible. Even Jesus felt sorrow, he came to take away death, once and for all.
John 11:35
"Jesus wept"
The first song
"Starry, Starry Night"
stuck with me today as I was trying to fathom how this could have
happened.
I didn't remember the exact words, but I recalled the song as being about a
person misunderstood by the world.
That was Bryan, Jr.
Looking it up on the Internet I was in tears in moments from how similar it was to what my dear son had been dealing with.
In this song the artist Van Gogh
commits suicide. Bryan didn't commit suicide, but the feelings expressed were similar.
He was always seeking relief from the pain he was in and no one could really
understand what he was going through.
We found out that he died of a brain aneurysm, alone in a hotel room. It could have happened at anytime, and no one could have done anything to prevent it.
The second song, "In the Arms of an Angel" express even more feelings our family have in this difficult time.
Therapists and counselors were
somewhat torn on what he was going through. They couldn't believe the
"fantastic" stories he told
of computer programs that resembled the natural universe. They would tell
me he had completely lost touch with
reality, but then I would assure them that he actually was working on such
programs. I had seen them.
Oh well, they thought I had lost it too!
I, like usual, am rambling.
I miss him terribly. Many of us miss him.
Friends have been calling to see what they could do to help.
How about this. Hug the person
next to you. Say something nice to a stranger.
Call an old friend you haven't spoken to in a long time. Hug your family
members. Learn from other people's experiences. Don't miss any opportunity. Use our loss as your wake up call.
As the saying goes; The smart man learns from his mistakes, the wise man learns for those of others!"
click this
link to hear:
Starry, Starry, Night also known as Vincent, be sung by Kat Kennedy
Updated; 1/25/2015
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMerSm2ToFY
Pain has turned into an extreme feeling of loss. Bryan, Jr., was working on such futuristic concepts that most people thought he was crazy. I didn't think he was, I just thought he was living in a world that very few people could understand. Now, a year and a half later, I feel a strange range of emotions I have trouble dealing with. I watch science programs on TV and listen to TedTalks and other videos that are just beginning to try to explain, what Bryan was working on. When I hear or see something that is just beginning to be understood by highly-educated scientists I have a painful reaction inside my heart and my head. This has been happening so much lately, that it's tough to deal with at times.
Just recently, there has been a great deal of talk about Van Gogh's understanding of turbulence and luminance. What's so "freaky" about it is how the song, Starry, Starry Night has been a reoccurring theme wherever I turn. that keeps appearing. Bryan tried to explain to me that he actually could see these in nature wherever he looked. he knew it would make him sound crazy, so he decided not to tell hardly anyone. I wonder who he did tell, I wish I knew so I could talk to them about this.
When thinking of Bryan immediately after his death, the song popped into my mind as reflecting Bryan's life and issues. Then, Kat Kennedy felt drawn to record the song for us. Then, at a Memorial Service, I had my picture taken and right behind me, was Van Gogh's painting. A coincidence? Strange is all I know.
Then, last night, I watched the movie "Lucy" about the inability to use all of the power of the brain, but then the main character did get to use a larger percentage and when she did, she began to see things that Bryan often described to me. I don't know where this all leads, but in my grief, this has become a really strange path. Is this normal????
Below are some articles I've seen that describes this better. Love you Bry!
+++
The folks who noticed Van Gogh's ability to capture turbulence checked to see whether other impressionists did the same. Most impressionists achieved " luminance" with their art (which is the sort-of *pulsing* you see when you look at their paintings that really shows what light looks like).
But did other artists depict TURBULENCE the way Van Gogh did?
NOPE.
You can follow the words below. (Yeah, I changed the name Vincent to Bryan for this to make sense.) Starry
starry night - Don McLean |
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In
The Arms Of an Angel - Sarah McLaughlin |
Spend all your time waiting For that second chance, For a break that would make it okay. There's always some reason To feel not good enough, And it's hard, at the end of the day. I need some distraction, Oh, beautiful release. Memories seep from my veins. Let me be empty, Oh, and weightless, and maybe I'll find some peace tonight. [Chorus] In the arms of the angel, Fly away from here, From this dark, cold hotel room, And the endlessness that you fear. You are pulled from the wreckage, Of your silent reverie. You're in the arms of the angel, May you find some comfort here. So tired of the straight line, And everywhere you turn, There's vultures and thieves at your back. The storm keeps on twisting. Keep on building the lies That you make up for all that you lack. It don't make no difference, Escape one last time. It's easier to believe in this sweet madness, Oh, this glorious sadness, That brings me to my knees. [Chorus] You're in the arms of the angel, May you find some comfort here. |
Here are some pictures. He didn't like pictures of himself.
I wish we took more pictures, especially recently. I wish he were back even more......
Alexis, Bryan & Mystica
Having Fun doing martial arts moves in front of the TV
April 2008
March 24, 2008
July 27, 2007 Newport, RI
Bryan Jr. as Mac Tonight
Miss CT Heidi Voight
(click to enlarge)
Bryan Jr, Cassi, Melissa, Jesse
Cousin Liz, Mystica, Alexis, Alexander
8/12/95
2010 Frisbee in the backyard
Bryan, Thomas, Aiden
Bryan Sr., and Bryan Jr. playing Ultimate Frisbee in our backyard.
July 1, 2013 Monday morning.
I woke up in extreme pain this morning thinking about my tasks for today. Pietras Family Funeral Home is preparing Bryan's body for a private viewing for us alone today. When this was brought up at our first meeting with them I didn't agree that this should be done. I didn't need it, I didn't necessarily want to go through with it. I was concerned about any bad effects of this. I had spent a lot of time with him recently and I'd rather remember him full of life. I could tell others wanted this course of action so I didn't protest loudly, but I stated my concerns. I was told that I didn't need to then. But I do, I want to share with everyone what they last see. That will leave a lasting memory and I truly pray it was a good decision...
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July 1, 2013 - afternoon
It was a good decision. As difficult as it was, and as many tears and as much heart-ache as it brought for all of us, it felt necessary when it was done. I think it was the most difficult moment in my life to date. It was a time when our entire family got a
little closer. Why do we always have to wait until these moments
happen to us to learn? |
July 2, 2013 - morning
I woke up peacefully this morning and started running through what I had to do today. At the service tonight, The family is going to share thoughts. Those who know me, I could ramble on for hours and never get to the point. As significant as a time like this, how does one condense all you want to say in just a few minutes? I then went to my e-mail inbox and saw my daily reminder that is sent to me from my calendar program. "You have no events scheduled today." Oh how I wish that was accurate...
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Looking back on the memory of
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Do you know what this is?
click to
enlarge.
Do you know what this is? If so, please e-mail me, Bryan Flint, Sr.
at BryanFlint@aol.com
Night Time Conversations About the Universe
I just wanted to say "thank you" Bryan. I always enjoyed the
times that we would talk late into the night about physics. You were a
cool guy and you always reminded me of an older version of my oldest
son. I will miss the possibility of who you were.
Posted by Heidi Arndt
Tuesday July 2, 2013 at 12:39 pm
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My fondest memoriesMy fondest memories of my time with Bryan are our conversations involving the exploration of physics and the elements of the nature of things. Bryan would often ask me “are you still with me/”...to which I would then explain what he had just described adding to it what I understood the relevance of the physical characteristics prodding Bryan to continue his thought process. We enjoyed our conversations deeply on this topic and could spend hours engaged often realizing that the time had blown past us and other obligations were calling.It was funny to me that Bryan often expressed his wonder if I was still with him since he told me that most conversations he’d have in this regard would result in eyes glazed over and an absence of presence . I loved these conversations because like him I rarely could find people who were of the same mind and enjoyed the creative thinking and exploration of the relationships that physics have when it comes to the relationship of the inner workings of the systems on our planet and beyond. We often look past them because we operate within them naturally. Some of us stop to smell the roses and others stop to smell the physics…. This I think was what was so appealing to Bryan. The fact that everything that we are surrounded by operates within quantifiable parameters and when broken down into its individual parts much like the atomic structure of a particle can be reassembled in its larger form having its parts resembling layers of patterns that shape its overall function, the relationship of its form characterized by viewpoint relative to distance as it relates to time, was fundamental to Bryan. I often forgot that he was just 25 years young and was amazed that he was exploring such mature topics. It’s no wonder that eyes were of a glaze. His mind and his willingness to allow the unbelievable to be within his grasp together with his insatiable drive to know the meaning of it all made Bryan such a beautiful individual. His creativity of thinking and his consciousness in observation is what I think allowed him to have such an incredible and poignant outlook. I can’t imagine what Bryan would have become if his lifetime was extended beyond his short 25 years. He was a brilliant mind and his work and ideas will live beyond his years. I love him and what we shared together…. Thank you Bryan. Posted by Greg Nickel Tuesday July 2, 2013 at 12:09 am
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![]() Forever and AlwaysBryan taught me unconditional love. In the 3 beautiful years we spent together, Bryan loved me like no other. He made me feel beatific and free. He made me laugh uncontrollably, cry with passion, and love like I've never loved before. Bry, I miss you more than I can ever explain. I am not ready to say goodbye. I hope as time goes by the pain will ease. Please know I loved you so much. I always will. Forever and always Your baby Jackie Posted by Jackie Eriksson Saturday July 6, 2013 at 4:37 pm
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Bye Bry.... We love you,... always and forever.
http://smallandpietrasfuneralhome.com/book-of-memories/1623241/Flint-Jr-Bryan/obituary.php
Bryan Smith Flint, Jr. 25, of Ellington died Friday, June 28, 2013 quietly in his sleep. Bryan was born on March 27, 1988 in Rockville, CT. Bryan graduated from Ellington High School in 2006. He had a strong passion for music, art, computer technology and loved his family dearly. He will be sincerely missed. His best quality was his compassion. Bry Bry, as he was affectionately known by his family, leaves behind his parents; Penny Hunter Zuidema and Steven Zuidema and Bryan Flint, Sr. and Kimberly Sardilli Flint, and his grandparents; Merlyn Hart, Bee Flint and Buddy and Marilyn Zuidema. He is also missed dearly by his siblings; Melissa Flint and her husband Thomas Tischofer, Alexis Flint Carmicheal, Mystica Flint Schaub and her husband Charles Schaub, Jesse Mack, Alexander Mack and Cassi Flint. He was a beloved uncle to Aiden, Jenna, Thomas, Nathan, Josephine, Evalee, Bonnie and Charlie. He also leaves behind many Aunts, Uncles, Cousins and Friends. Relatives and friends may join the family on Tuesday, July 2, 2013 from 4-6 PM at the Burke-Fortin Funeral Home, 76 Prospect Street, Rockville, CT 06066. A Memorial Service will follow at 6pm. Burial will be private. Donations in his name can be made to The Cornerstone Foundation in Rockville, 15 Prospect Street, P.O. Box 2036, Rockville, CT 06066. For online condolences, please visit www.pietrasfuneralhome.com
Condolences
Condolence From: Mrs. Gene Bolles
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Linda Prout - Beat of The Street The article below was from the Winter edition of 2013-2014 2013 HARTFORD HOMELESS MEMORIAL SERVICE By Sarah Ratchford On December 21st , a beautiful and sunny day, the Hartford Homeless Memorial Service was held at Center Church on Main Street in Hartford. The service is an annual event that is always held on the longest night of the year. Community organizations, activists and humanitarians who organize and participate in this service feel that people who had no permanent homes when they were alive deserve to be recognized and respected because most of them had given up hope in their final days and died alone. The program included songs that had words so deep they brought tears to people’s eyes, like the songs “Lean on Me” and “Amazing Grace.” There were also several thought provoking poems and heart-felt speeches. The name of each person who had passed was said then a bell was rung. I was touched most by very moving words from Mr. Bryan Flint, director of a homeless shelter, who was one of the big-hearted people involved in helping put the service and program together. Bryan’s 25 year old son, Bryan Junior, was one of the people who was memorialized. After the speeches were given and contributors where thanked, we walked outside and stood on the church steps, where we held up signs, each printed with the name of a person we had come together to memorialize. We lit a few sparklers then touched the person’s sparker next to us in order to pass the flame on. Bryan chose sparklers instead of candles because his son liked them. After the service we gathered in the church for refreshments. Gift bags with donations like hats and gloves, just to name a few, were handed out. I told Bryan that I was very touched by what he was able to do. I told him that I felt God had given him something extra, and that as a parent myself, I don’t feel that I would have been able to get up and speak in front of people so soon after the death of my child. Bryan lost his son in June. This is the third homeless memorial service that I have attended. I feel that it would have been great to have city and government officials in attendance. We were told that the 43 homeless people who died in 2013 was more than in 2012. I am writing this in the first half of January and the weather so far this year has brought record low temperatures. One beloved member of the BOTS team who was on the street ended up in the hospital with hypothermia. A close call! That should shout out loud and clear that we need to END HOMELESSNESS NOW!!!! Sarah Ratchford
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Memorial Service - Hartford 2013 Saturday, December 21st, 11:00am until 1:00pm. The First Church of Christ in Hartford, Main & Gold Streets, Hartford, Connecticut 06103. Join the national movement to honor those we’ve lost and shine a light on the unjust impact of homelessness. Hosted by Faces of Homelessness – Hartford, CT and Connecticut Homeless Human Rights Campaign
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++ If I tear up, and my voice trembles, it’s because one of the people we are remembering today is my son, Bryan, Flint, Jr. Speakers often quote others in their speeches. I’d like to quote a few. The shortest verse in the Bible. When Jesus went to the tomb of Lazarus, even though he knew he would raise him from the dead, gives us the shortest verse in the Bible. John 11:35 “Jesus wept.” So as a follower of my Lord Jesus Christ, if I tear up, it’s just me being Christ-like! I have such mixed feelings about standing here today addressing all of you at this solemn ceremony. I’m probably in a somewhat unique role, as both the Director of a Homeless shelter run by the Cornerstone Foundation in Rockville, which I’m very thankful to be, but also as a father whose 25 year old son died this past June, alone in a motel room, a few short days after we told him that he wasn’t going to be able to live with us at home any longer. The night he died, was the last night his boss was allowing him to stay in one of the motel rooms where he worked, that they had that were unoccupied. She had been generous allowing him to stay there about three nights in between his shifts at the motel. This was going to be his last night though, but at midnight when he didn’t show up for his shift, they found him in the room, alone, no longer alive. It was later determined to be a brain aneurysm. He didn’t commit suicide like I first thought, but he did have a role in getting himself to this point. He was abusing the high energy drink Red Bull and taking other substances to get him through his last few days. “I’m really stressed out” was one of the last messages he texted me, and then “they’re letting me stay another night.” He was hurt, he felt rejected, he was lonely. If I think back just one year ago, life was so different for me and my family. I had never dreamed of working in a homeless shelter, much less being the director of one and I was the father of 5 children, 4 girls and a son, two step sons and grandfather of 8. All of them healthy and full of life. A year later I now have 9 grandkids, 10 on the way, but my son, Bryan Jr., is no longer with us. He passed away June 27th 2013 of a brain aneurysm. That’s an important detail. People try to comfort me when they know how guilty I feel about all of this. They say, no one can predict when a brain aneurysm strikes, it could of have happened when he was still staying at your house. I say yes, but if it did have to happen, it would have been more comforting for me, if it did happen when he was surrounded by family, not when he was in a lonely motel room. The reason we choose December 21st… Winter solstice Shortest day of the year, which then means the longest night of the year. It’s fitting since it’s the night that causes the most stress and anxiety, where will I sleep tonight, will I even wake up? It’s also one of the loneliest moments. Bryan, Jr. he had been going through a lot of problems in his life. He was always torn between making tough decisions. I first noticed it when his mother and I got divorced when he was just 6 years old. I saw his pain when he had to go from one parent to the other. He wanted the two parents he had. He had trouble deciding who he wanted to be with, if he had to choose between us. It was a divided loyalty that no one, especially no child should have to go through. I saw it become a struggle for him often. Even my decision to talk today, had me worried and extremely concerned. I consider that my son died while homeless, but there are those close to him that don’t even feel comfortable admitting that Bry was homeless. Why would that even be an issue? Is it because we as family could have done more? I’ve had and constantly have those woulda’ could’a should’a, moments. They hurt, BAD! To this day,… to this very moment, you don’t know the pain I still have from my decisions. He needed protection, he needed love. I feel I failed him…, miserably. We all feel we make mistakes. Many mistakes we can start over from, but not when death is involved though. How can I even think I care about others, if I couldn’t even protect my own son when he needed me the most. I hurt, I even feel embarrassed. They say that’s the way the “enemy” of our soul works, by attacking us with doubts of our worthiness. As I thought about what I was going to say, it occurred to me, maybe that is the big issue. Are we incapable of doing the right thing, if we feel embarrassed? So what’s really worse, being homeless, or allowing homelessness because we deny it exists? It should embarrass us, as family members, as a society, as fellow human-beings. I can’t change what happened to my son. I would do anything to have another chance to help him, but I can’t, nobody can. But there is one thing I can do, and that is to do all I can within my power to prevent others from going through the same thing. Will it be easy, no, but is it possible? I believe it could be, if we all worked together. The problem seems huge, but is it? I took some calculations, and while homelessness affects so many people, if you break down the numbers, it’s not that difficult to grasp. I learned a long time ago, that we have to learn to ask the right question, if we really want to solve problems. In CT, there are an estimated 4,500 homeless people and 2,500 congregations; churches, synagogues, temples, etc. If you divide the number homeless into the number of congregations, that’s less than 2 homeless people per congregation to help out. So, why is it acceptable to allow people to live outdoors in the woods or under bridges, but we couldn’t put up two trailers on each church property. We aren’t “zoned” for that? What laws allow us to choose to have a type of zoning to supposedly help society, but we turn our backs on the homeless living outdoors. Are we zoned for that??? We need a common vision. Can we agree that forcing people to live in homeless shelters is acceptable or not? If not, then we need to decide if it’s worth changing, and determining what we find acceptable. We have to define homelessness. Is it lack of housing? For the person or family? Are there empty houses around? Of course there are! If there are empty houses and apartment buildings, and we pay incredibly amounts of money for programs to help the homeless, why don’t we employ the homeless that can work, fix up the empty buildings and allow them to live there! That’s not rocket science, that’s common-sense, which by the way is not that common! Or is the argument, whether people deserve a home or not? Is that still in question? You can simply decide if it’s right or wrong, morally? Do you need to be a religious person to know right from wrong? No, it’s obvious. If you do have a religious or faith-based moral compass, what does the Bible say? Parable of the Sheep & Goats. Matthew 25:31 "When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory. 32 All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, 33 and he will put the sheep at his right hand and the goats at the left. 34 Then the king will say to those at his right hand, "Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; 35 for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, 36 I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.' 37 Then the righteous will answer him, "Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? 38 And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? 39 And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?' 40 And the king will answer them, "Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family, you did it to me.' 41 Then he will say to those at his left hand, "You that are accursed, depart from me into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels; 42 for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, 43 I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not give me clothing, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.' 44 Then they also will answer, "Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not take care of you?' 45 Then he will answer them, "Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.' 46 And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life." Seems pretty clear to me, least what is expected of those who call ourselves, Christians! What is the goal of many homeless people these days? To get a job and then a home? Or to get disability and a subsidized home? How many Americans are “disabled” these days? Too many! Many have been homeless and forgotten and eventually needed medications to numb their pain, and now really do have a problem trying to work. But they aren’t hopeless. There is always hope. There are so many resources but often they aren’t connected properly. We need to get rid of pride, we need to become more efficient, work together better and we need to harness the technology around us. From the Old Testament, Micah 6:8 And what does the Lord require of you? To act justly and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God. "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." (Edmund Burke 17000’s)
Just as today, is the longest night of the year, and we use this fact to remember those who have passed away. I think my son, no, I know my son Bryan Jr., would want me to stand up for him, and do whatever is humanly possible to end homelessness. There is not a thing I can do to help him now, but I believe that he would want us to work together in his memory and in memory for all the others we are honoring today. So yes, this is the shortest daylight of the year, but you know why tomorrow is so important? Because the days are going to start getting longer. We can choose to mourn those who have passed away and languish in that sorrow, or we can acknowledge how unfair society has been treating the homeless and use this day as a new beginning, to refocus all of our energies in a positive direction and truly honor our friends and loved ones. I know what I need to do for my son and others, how about you? Are you with me!?
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http://ellington-somers.patch.com/groups/obituaries/p/bryan-flint-jr-of-ellington-passes-away
Services are scheduled for Tuesday, Bryan Flint Sr. said.
10/14/14 On The Voice" Cassi told me this was a song that made Bryan think,...
1
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9yZ1uI5yPbY
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just praying to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even
Her best days will be some of my worst
She finally met a man that's gonna put her first
While I'm wide awake, she has no trouble sleeping
'Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even, even, no
What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
They say bad things happen for a reason
But no wise words gonna stop the bleeding
'Cause she's moved on while I'm still grieving
And when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even, even, oww
What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no, it don't break even)
You got his heart and my heart and none of the pain
You took your suitcase, I took the blame
Now I'm tryin' make sense of what little remains, oh
'Cause you left me with no love and no love to my name
I'm still alive but I'm barely breathing
Just prayed to a God that I don't believe in
'Cause I got time while she got freedom
'Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break
No it don't break, no, it don't break even, no
What am I suppose to do when the best part of me was always you?
And what am I supposed to say when I'm all choked up and you're okay?
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
I'm falling to pieces
(One's still in love while the other one's leaving)
I'm falling to pieces
('Cause when a heart breaks, no it don't break even)
Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, it don't break even, no
Oh, it don't break even, no
Read more: Script - Breakeven Lyrics | MetroLyrics
Newly found pictures by Alexis, added
January 25, 2015
From Bryan and Alex's Birthday Party? March 27, 2005
Jesse, Bryan, Jr., Alexander
Bryan, Alexis, Cassandra, Mystica, and Alex
Melissa, Alexis, Mystica, Bryan, Jr.
Can we come up on the roof?? I got my shoes on!